So, the one year anniversary is approaching...what do we do now?

Well Cindy, Monday brings February 25th which is the one year anniversary of us losing you on this earth.  This week has been, hmmm how can I put this, well...pretty much hell!  We all think about you every day, that hasn't changed since day one but something about re-living this week from last year.  All the emotion, all the anguish yet all the love and support too that took place that week just came flooding back.  I know there are so many people out there that go through this same kind of hurt and pain, how do we go on, how do we pick up the pieces?  I guess we do what we've been doing all along, follow your example.  Fight hard, to the bitter end, never give up and spread the love.  Not a bad motto to live by, you made that look so easy in your 51 years here-we're trying ok, we're trying!

Today is Saturday and I know last year was leap year so we're 2 days off but today just feels like the day.  It was Wednesday, late in the day when we decided to take you off the respirator.  The girls said you always like the late afternoons, when the sun was going down and they were right.  So, the wonderful nurses did it around 6:00 and they said it would be minutes maybe hours but no way you could breathe on your own for a day.  Ha, they sure didn't know the Cindy we knew, did they?!?!   We held vigil around your bed as did so many people in the lobby.  The friends, the family, the high school kids, the hospital staff, all showing their love and support for a person that touched their lives in so many ways.  The person that made them feel special, that gave them a smile and a hug on a bad day, that brought them food or flowers when they were sick, the one that ALWAYS found the positive in any situation!  And so, it was very early on a Saturday morning that you finally said goodbye.  It was time, we gave you the go ahead (well, we had done that earlier but in true Cindy fashion you waited til your time not ours) and we all said our goodbyes right there by your bed. 

But, we're all still talking to you, because we like to hear what you have to say.  It was always profound, well, at least most of the time.  Like "why do they have the signs bridge ices before road" and you thought it meant the bridge rails ice before the road on the bridge does.  Putting artificial flowers in water because you swore they were real, the "specific" ocean, "grape" myrtles which were really Wysteria but you thought it looked like grapes.  That list could go on and on but not nearly as long as your positive, upbeat words of encouragement.  You'll be happy to know that Addie is following right along in your footsteps on that one and Anna loves sharing them with us!  As I always say, you would be so proud of your girls.  They are you in more ways than you ever even imagined!  It just makes my day every time I'm with them.

Mom fixes lunch for Addie and spends time in Anna's classroom every week.  The girls went from 4 grandparents and 2 parents to 1 of each in about a three year span.  So Jacob and BonBon are their foundations, I'm so very thankful for them.  Sally and I come to Columbia often to be with them and we talk as much as possible.  And, how God works is still so amazing to me.  He brought Jonathan and Ashley into our lives and then you solidified that relationship with the entire family.  It's almost as if you knew exactly what you were doing.  Let me just say, couldn't have made it this far without them!

So, today Cindy, we celebrate you!  We celebrate your life here and all the many lessons you taught us.  We celebrate the friends and the relationships you brought into our lives.  We celebrate the family you brought together many times over and we just celebrate.  Because, what do we do now...we live!  Just like you would be doing if given the chance.  We live, we fight hard for what's right, we never give up and we spread the LOVE!

Love ya Sista!

It's February, the month of hearts

Let me just tell ya Sista, we are really struggling down here!  February is a tough month, always thought I kinda liked it.  It was a month of good solid teaching time (not many interruptions), sweethearts let each other know how they really feel, Jump Rope for Heart, maybe some snow :)  Now, not so much!

Last year this time we had just finished a fun weekend in Snowshoe, WV and I wouldn't give anything for that trip.  Though I don't think you felt great, you were a trooper and kept moving.  You went snowmobiling...well that's what it's called but you were more like strolling along.  Thank goodness for the sweet guide that brought up the rear and strolled right along with you.  It got me to thinking about the last picture we took of you, so I started searching.  Sal must've snapped this shot-the date is 1/29/12 at 10:46 a.m.

Perfect...eating boiled peanuts, drinking coffee and hanging out in the kitchen. Such good times as always.

A regret...though small...was that you kept asking me to go tubing with you (this is the tubing crew without JH, he'd gone in to check on Em) and I never did.  Not a big deal but just another memory, luckily I have plenty to think back on!

Can't believe that this coming weekend is when you verbalized that you didn't feel well and by Valentine's Day you were in full-force non-stop nausea.  A week from this Sunday you went by ambulance to the hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumor that night and had a massive stroke by Monday night.  I mean, REALLY!!  I know life throws you curve balls but don't you think that is just a little extreme?

We're living down here, we really are but it ain't easy!  I'm just not happy about living it without ya.  I think about you all the time, you are never far from me and for that I am thankful.  You would be so proud of your girls.  They are such strong young ladies and are so much a part of you.  I see more and more of you in them everyday.  Good lessons taught, Sista, good lessons taught.  I'm proud of you-what a great Mom you were and your hard work has paid off.  Anna and Addie are thoughtful, family oriented, they care for others, they have a great work ethic but enjoy life too!  Sound familiar?

Mom and I talk most mornings about 6:30, it's so good to have her close :) 
We're working our way through this grieving process-

Well, I'll be back this week to chat.  By the way, thanks for the beautiful sights in the sky every time I drive to Columbia.  I'll share a couple of those pictures on my next blog.  I always know it's you, I can just feel it!

Love ya bunches Sista!!