Hey Sista! Tomorrow is your birthday. Last year this time we were preparing for the resurrection as your birthday fell on Easter. This year, some of us are ending our Spring Break and gearing up for the big finale of the the school year's end! Oh how I'd love to report that we are all just clicking along but I've never lied to you before and don't plan on starting now :-)
You'd think once I handled all of the "firsts" that I'd figure out how all of this works, but gotta be honest I'm still trying to navigate it all. It's just a little too real these days, not that I haven't felt the weight of it all for the past 13 months. We all have and we're so thankful that you brought us all together to be there for each other-thanks again for that! Don't know how we'd do without it-
I do see so many positives, like the people that support
Cindy's Place, Springdale, your family, children, Fund Run, and the list
goes on and on...
We had a good few days at Edisto-Mom went on Monday and we got down on Tuesday. Mike was able to join us for a few nights because of his work route so that was a treat. Jacob and Anna hadn't been down since last Summer so it was good to be together. Missed Addie but that whole college thing gets in the way!
Today, I spent about 6 hours in the yard after church...first (and last) really pretty day of Spring Break and wanted to soak it all up. One of the chores I did was pull the weeds in my raised garden, and what do I find once the array of weeds are gone...the leaves for my glads that are coming back this year. That's what Spring is all about, the tulips, daffodils, cloroxed rockers, bird feeders filled, AND a re-birth of bulbs planted 2 years ago. I gotta tell you, sure do wish it was possible for our loved ones that have gone before us. Sally mentioned on the ride back from Edisto this weekend, "don't you just want 1 night, just 1 night to talk to her again?" Of course, the answer was yes but truth is I'm greedy and probably wouldn't be content with just one. I'd be begging for more, "come on, just one more then you can go back." So for now, I'll do my best to chat with you on the porch, the lawnmower, the beach, this blog, riding along in my truck...and be thankful for the time we did have and work really hard to listen for your voice. Keep talking Sista, we're listening down here, I promise we are!!
Today and EVERYDAY, I love ya Sista!!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Easter Sunday
Christ is Risen, He is Risen indeed! The week has been gloomy, knowing this is the time that Christ was crucified but today is glorious because He lives. Cindy, you always loved Easter, and last year it fell on your birthday. One of mom's favorite stories from Easter was the year she got us all ready in our Easter outfits and told you to watch me while she got dressed. We were on our back patio in the beautiful sunshine. You were trying to keep me busy so you gave me my chocolate rabbit from the Easter Bunny. Needless to say the sun melted it and I had chocolate ALL over my pretty dress. Mom came out and couldn't believe the mess. She got me changed (I'm still not big on Easter dresses :) and off to church we went. That story says it all...you always trying to make things just right and Mom always going with the flow never getting flustered by things you can't control.
Cindy's Place is moving right along, so many people are diligently striving to keep your dream alive. Taylor, Mike and a team cooked chickens (750 halves to be exact) to sell bbq plates as a fundraiser 2 weeks ago. Can you believe that they not only sold out but the good people of our community paid for plates that weren't even available. Even some that pre-paid refused to take their money back when all of the plates were gone. I don't know the total $ raised but I do know that Cindy's Place will be completed and the Springdale community is a dedicated, loving group of people.
I had a visitor the other day and she asked how I was doing. My response was, I'm doing pretty well! She said, "I sure hope that sometime you are yelling, kicking and screaming and throwing your own tantrum. Because every time I see you, your response is I'm fine and you are always smiling." Don't worry, I'm not always smiling even though tantrums aren't my style and never have been. I will say however, Sally taught me that cutting grass and listening to music is a great time to get a good cry out! Cindy, as the weather begins to get a little warmer and I get outside, I'm missing you more now than ever. It's not any easier, I still want to hear your voice and I still reach for the phone to give you a call. Sally even started to say last week, "have you talked to Cindy today" because it was such a natural part of my life.
I miss you Cindy, I'm listening for you and thinking of you each and every moment of the day. Tomorrow begins "Happy Birthweek" for you so enjoy and celebrate. Sure do wish you were here to enjoy some Edisto time with us this week...I'll drink a cold one JUST for you!
Love ya Sista!
Cindy's Place is moving right along, so many people are diligently striving to keep your dream alive. Taylor, Mike and a team cooked chickens (750 halves to be exact) to sell bbq plates as a fundraiser 2 weeks ago. Can you believe that they not only sold out but the good people of our community paid for plates that weren't even available. Even some that pre-paid refused to take their money back when all of the plates were gone. I don't know the total $ raised but I do know that Cindy's Place will be completed and the Springdale community is a dedicated, loving group of people.
I had a visitor the other day and she asked how I was doing. My response was, I'm doing pretty well! She said, "I sure hope that sometime you are yelling, kicking and screaming and throwing your own tantrum. Because every time I see you, your response is I'm fine and you are always smiling." Don't worry, I'm not always smiling even though tantrums aren't my style and never have been. I will say however, Sally taught me that cutting grass and listening to music is a great time to get a good cry out! Cindy, as the weather begins to get a little warmer and I get outside, I'm missing you more now than ever. It's not any easier, I still want to hear your voice and I still reach for the phone to give you a call. Sally even started to say last week, "have you talked to Cindy today" because it was such a natural part of my life.
I miss you Cindy, I'm listening for you and thinking of you each and every moment of the day. Tomorrow begins "Happy Birthweek" for you so enjoy and celebrate. Sure do wish you were here to enjoy some Edisto time with us this week...I'll drink a cold one JUST for you!
Love ya Sista!
Saturday, February 23, 2013
So, the one year anniversary is approaching...what do we do now?
Well Cindy, Monday brings February 25th which is the one year anniversary of us losing you on this earth. This week has been, hmmm how can I put this, well...pretty much hell! We all think about you every day, that hasn't changed since day one but something about re-living this week from last year. All the emotion, all the anguish yet all the love and support too that took place that week just came flooding back. I know there are so many people out there that go through this same kind of hurt and pain, how do we go on, how do we pick up the pieces? I guess we do what we've been doing all along, follow your example. Fight hard, to the bitter end, never give up and spread the love. Not a bad motto to live by, you made that look so easy in your 51 years here-we're trying ok, we're trying!
Today is Saturday and I know last year was leap year so we're 2 days off but today just feels like the day. It was Wednesday, late in the day when we decided to take you off the respirator. The girls said you always like the late afternoons, when the sun was going down and they were right. So, the wonderful nurses did it around 6:00 and they said it would be minutes maybe hours but no way you could breathe on your own for a day. Ha, they sure didn't know the Cindy we knew, did they?!?! We held vigil around your bed as did so many people in the lobby. The friends, the family, the high school kids, the hospital staff, all showing their love and support for a person that touched their lives in so many ways. The person that made them feel special, that gave them a smile and a hug on a bad day, that brought them food or flowers when they were sick, the one that ALWAYS found the positive in any situation! And so, it was very early on a Saturday morning that you finally said goodbye. It was time, we gave you the go ahead (well, we had done that earlier but in true Cindy fashion you waited til your time not ours) and we all said our goodbyes right there by your bed.
But, we're all still talking to you, because we like to hear what you have to say. It was always profound, well, at least most of the time. Like "why do they have the signs bridge ices before road" and you thought it meant the bridge rails ice before the road on the bridge does. Putting artificial flowers in water because you swore they were real, the "specific" ocean, "grape" myrtles which were really Wysteria but you thought it looked like grapes. That list could go on and on but not nearly as long as your positive, upbeat words of encouragement. You'll be happy to know that Addie is following right along in your footsteps on that one and Anna loves sharing them with us! As I always say, you would be so proud of your girls. They are you in more ways than you ever even imagined! It just makes my day every time I'm with them.
Mom fixes lunch for Addie and spends time in Anna's classroom every week. The girls went from 4 grandparents and 2 parents to 1 of each in about a three year span. So Jacob and BonBon are their foundations, I'm so very thankful for them. Sally and I come to Columbia often to be with them and we talk as much as possible. And, how God works is still so amazing to me. He brought Jonathan and Ashley into our lives and then you solidified that relationship with the entire family. It's almost as if you knew exactly what you were doing. Let me just say, couldn't have made it this far without them!
So, today Cindy, we celebrate you! We celebrate your life here and all the many lessons you taught us. We celebrate the friends and the relationships you brought into our lives. We celebrate the family you brought together many times over and we just celebrate. Because, what do we do now...we live! Just like you would be doing if given the chance. We live, we fight hard for what's right, we never give up and we spread the LOVE!
Love ya Sista!
Today is Saturday and I know last year was leap year so we're 2 days off but today just feels like the day. It was Wednesday, late in the day when we decided to take you off the respirator. The girls said you always like the late afternoons, when the sun was going down and they were right. So, the wonderful nurses did it around 6:00 and they said it would be minutes maybe hours but no way you could breathe on your own for a day. Ha, they sure didn't know the Cindy we knew, did they?!?! We held vigil around your bed as did so many people in the lobby. The friends, the family, the high school kids, the hospital staff, all showing their love and support for a person that touched their lives in so many ways. The person that made them feel special, that gave them a smile and a hug on a bad day, that brought them food or flowers when they were sick, the one that ALWAYS found the positive in any situation! And so, it was very early on a Saturday morning that you finally said goodbye. It was time, we gave you the go ahead (well, we had done that earlier but in true Cindy fashion you waited til your time not ours) and we all said our goodbyes right there by your bed.
But, we're all still talking to you, because we like to hear what you have to say. It was always profound, well, at least most of the time. Like "why do they have the signs bridge ices before road" and you thought it meant the bridge rails ice before the road on the bridge does. Putting artificial flowers in water because you swore they were real, the "specific" ocean, "grape" myrtles which were really Wysteria but you thought it looked like grapes. That list could go on and on but not nearly as long as your positive, upbeat words of encouragement. You'll be happy to know that Addie is following right along in your footsteps on that one and Anna loves sharing them with us! As I always say, you would be so proud of your girls. They are you in more ways than you ever even imagined! It just makes my day every time I'm with them.
Mom fixes lunch for Addie and spends time in Anna's classroom every week. The girls went from 4 grandparents and 2 parents to 1 of each in about a three year span. So Jacob and BonBon are their foundations, I'm so very thankful for them. Sally and I come to Columbia often to be with them and we talk as much as possible. And, how God works is still so amazing to me. He brought Jonathan and Ashley into our lives and then you solidified that relationship with the entire family. It's almost as if you knew exactly what you were doing. Let me just say, couldn't have made it this far without them!
So, today Cindy, we celebrate you! We celebrate your life here and all the many lessons you taught us. We celebrate the friends and the relationships you brought into our lives. We celebrate the family you brought together many times over and we just celebrate. Because, what do we do now...we live! Just like you would be doing if given the chance. We live, we fight hard for what's right, we never give up and we spread the LOVE!
Love ya Sista!
Friday, February 8, 2013
It's February, the month of hearts
Let me just tell ya Sista, we are really struggling down here! February is a tough month, always thought I kinda liked it. It was a month of good solid teaching time (not many interruptions), sweethearts let each other know how they really feel, Jump Rope for Heart, maybe some snow :) Now, not so much!
Last year this time we had just finished a fun weekend in Snowshoe, WV and I wouldn't give anything for that trip. Though I don't think you felt great, you were a trooper and kept moving. You went snowmobiling...well that's what it's called but you were more like strolling along. Thank goodness for the sweet guide that brought up the rear and strolled right along with you. It got me to thinking about the last picture we took of you, so I started searching. Sal must've snapped this shot-the date is 1/29/12 at 10:46 a.m.
Perfect...eating boiled peanuts, drinking coffee and hanging out in the kitchen. Such good times as always.
A regret...though small...was that you kept asking me to go tubing with you (this is the tubing crew without JH, he'd gone in to check on Em) and I never did. Not a big deal but just another memory, luckily I have plenty to think back on!
Can't believe that this coming weekend is when you verbalized that you didn't feel well and by Valentine's Day you were in full-force non-stop nausea. A week from this Sunday you went by ambulance to the hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumor that night and had a massive stroke by Monday night. I mean, REALLY!! I know life throws you curve balls but don't you think that is just a little extreme?
We're living down here, we really are but it ain't easy! I'm just not happy about living it without ya. I think about you all the time, you are never far from me and for that I am thankful. You would be so proud of your girls. They are such strong young ladies and are so much a part of you. I see more and more of you in them everyday. Good lessons taught, Sista, good lessons taught. I'm proud of you-what a great Mom you were and your hard work has paid off. Anna and Addie are thoughtful, family oriented, they care for others, they have a great work ethic but enjoy life too! Sound familiar?
Mom and I talk most mornings about 6:30, it's so good to have her close :)
We're working our way through this grieving process-
Well, I'll be back this week to chat. By the way, thanks for the beautiful sights in the sky every time I drive to Columbia. I'll share a couple of those pictures on my next blog. I always know it's you, I can just feel it!
Love ya bunches Sista!!
Last year this time we had just finished a fun weekend in Snowshoe, WV and I wouldn't give anything for that trip. Though I don't think you felt great, you were a trooper and kept moving. You went snowmobiling...well that's what it's called but you were more like strolling along. Thank goodness for the sweet guide that brought up the rear and strolled right along with you. It got me to thinking about the last picture we took of you, so I started searching. Sal must've snapped this shot-the date is 1/29/12 at 10:46 a.m.
Can't believe that this coming weekend is when you verbalized that you didn't feel well and by Valentine's Day you were in full-force non-stop nausea. A week from this Sunday you went by ambulance to the hospital, diagnosed with a brain tumor that night and had a massive stroke by Monday night. I mean, REALLY!! I know life throws you curve balls but don't you think that is just a little extreme?
We're living down here, we really are but it ain't easy! I'm just not happy about living it without ya. I think about you all the time, you are never far from me and for that I am thankful. You would be so proud of your girls. They are such strong young ladies and are so much a part of you. I see more and more of you in them everyday. Good lessons taught, Sista, good lessons taught. I'm proud of you-what a great Mom you were and your hard work has paid off. Anna and Addie are thoughtful, family oriented, they care for others, they have a great work ethic but enjoy life too! Sound familiar?
Mom and I talk most mornings about 6:30, it's so good to have her close :)
We're working our way through this grieving process-
Well, I'll be back this week to chat. By the way, thanks for the beautiful sights in the sky every time I drive to Columbia. I'll share a couple of those pictures on my next blog. I always know it's you, I can just feel it!
Love ya bunches Sista!!
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Thankful, Merry and Looking forward-
It is the season for all of these things. So here goes-
I'm thankful for faith, family and friends because without these 3f's I'm not sure I would've made it through the holiday season. Sometimes you just go through the motions because it is what you do but sometimes you hit the wall and reality sinks in. The Christmas season was certainly a challenging time. You balance wanting to feel joyful and merry being surrounded by those you love, making it special for all the little children yet reality is that it's just damn hard! However, I'm starting to think that sometimes it's the down time, the quiet time, the nothing is really going on time that might just be the hardest. I love talking about Cindy, the things she would say, how she responded to situations, and wondering what she would be thinking right now. It always does my heart good!
There were many occasions this Christmas season to gather as family. We kicked it off with Roof Christmas at Kate's house. We've been holding this reunion since before I was born and the siblings (Daddy and his 6 older sisters) would bring their families to celebrate together. Well, all these years later we continue to gather. Just this past Thursday, January 10th, we celebrated Aunt Annie's life during her funeral. She was the last sibling and I'm thankful she went with a smile on her face having lived a thoughtful, giving and fun-loving life. There are many Roof family members in heaven rejoicing together now.
Christmas at Mammaw's was my most difficult time this year. We gathered on the 23rd to celebrate with Mammaw, our family and Uncle Phil's family. It's also a time to celebrate Mom's birthday (24th). I'm thankful for Chloe, Chelsea and Madisyn running around and performing for us to make it a cheerful time. Without them it would've just been too difficult! That day has always meant Christmas to me and feel so fortunate to have a 92 year old matriarch :) like Mammaw still with us. And then brunch at Mom's on Christmas day is just love, home and a treasure!
Then Mom, Sally and I head off to Edisto to celebrate New Year's and had one night with Mike but he had to head back to work. The Ingrams joined us for the weekend. Nothing like a 14 month old to make you smile and make your heart feel like it's going to explode with love. We had an oyster roast (I got to shuck some for Mom but sure did miss shucking them for you) and a crab boil. There is nothing like "underneath" at Shorty's Shack. Jacob and the girls went to the bowl game and then Disney World. We missed them but I'm so glad they got to experience the win over Michigan. Cindy, you would've been crowing loud and proud...but not sure you would have been watching because of your nerves. It was a nail-biter for sure!
So, I'm looking toward lucky 13 and hoping that 2013 brings joy and peace. This canvas was a gift from Sally and is hanging beside the front door so I can see it often. It's a treasure-the smiles, the hands and the sheer joy of the picture says it all-I love ya Sista!
I'm thankful for faith, family and friends because without these 3f's I'm not sure I would've made it through the holiday season. Sometimes you just go through the motions because it is what you do but sometimes you hit the wall and reality sinks in. The Christmas season was certainly a challenging time. You balance wanting to feel joyful and merry being surrounded by those you love, making it special for all the little children yet reality is that it's just damn hard! However, I'm starting to think that sometimes it's the down time, the quiet time, the nothing is really going on time that might just be the hardest. I love talking about Cindy, the things she would say, how she responded to situations, and wondering what she would be thinking right now. It always does my heart good!
There were many occasions this Christmas season to gather as family. We kicked it off with Roof Christmas at Kate's house. We've been holding this reunion since before I was born and the siblings (Daddy and his 6 older sisters) would bring their families to celebrate together. Well, all these years later we continue to gather. Just this past Thursday, January 10th, we celebrated Aunt Annie's life during her funeral. She was the last sibling and I'm thankful she went with a smile on her face having lived a thoughtful, giving and fun-loving life. There are many Roof family members in heaven rejoicing together now.
Christmas at Mammaw's was my most difficult time this year. We gathered on the 23rd to celebrate with Mammaw, our family and Uncle Phil's family. It's also a time to celebrate Mom's birthday (24th). I'm thankful for Chloe, Chelsea and Madisyn running around and performing for us to make it a cheerful time. Without them it would've just been too difficult! That day has always meant Christmas to me and feel so fortunate to have a 92 year old matriarch :) like Mammaw still with us. And then brunch at Mom's on Christmas day is just love, home and a treasure!
Then Mom, Sally and I head off to Edisto to celebrate New Year's and had one night with Mike but he had to head back to work. The Ingrams joined us for the weekend. Nothing like a 14 month old to make you smile and make your heart feel like it's going to explode with love. We had an oyster roast (I got to shuck some for Mom but sure did miss shucking them for you) and a crab boil. There is nothing like "underneath" at Shorty's Shack. Jacob and the girls went to the bowl game and then Disney World. We missed them but I'm so glad they got to experience the win over Michigan. Cindy, you would've been crowing loud and proud...but not sure you would have been watching because of your nerves. It was a nail-biter for sure!
Thursday, December 20, 2012
December 25th...10 months
December 25th will mark 10 months for life without you with us and we're all trying to figure out how to navigate through this time of year. It was definitely your favorite because of all that Christmas means. Baby Jesus and celebrating His birth, family, music, Believing, traditions, laughter and the list goes on. Recently, Sally gave me a new song to listen to on my way to Columbia. She said it will probably make you cry but that's ok, there is nothing wrong with crying. She's right but I really don't care to cry around people, when possible I prefer it in private. So the ride to Columbia was a perfect time. The song, Scotty McCreery's "Wonder what Christmas in Heaven is like?" definitely got my crying but also thinking. Having you as my sister certainly helps me imagine what Christmas in Heaven is like. It's the best Birthday party ever! But this is what I think of because of Cindy...
Celebrating Jesus' birth
Family gathered together
Friends expressing their love
Snow covered cabin
Fireplace lit
Carolina football
Jeep rides out in the country
Ice cold Ultra
Four-wheeler ride around the pond
A run by the river with Jacob, Anna or Addie
A walk on the beach at Edisto
Making the holidays extra special for someone
Smiles
Talks late into the night...or actually early morning
Those are just a few of the things I think about when I think of what Christmas in Heaven is like with you in it.
Love ya Sista! I'll be back on real soon-
Celebrating Jesus' birth
Family gathered together
Friends expressing their love
Snow covered cabin
Fireplace lit
Carolina football
Jeep rides out in the country
Ice cold Ultra
Four-wheeler ride around the pond
A run by the river with Jacob, Anna or Addie
A walk on the beach at Edisto
Making the holidays extra special for someone
Smiles
Talks late into the night...or actually early morning
Those are just a few of the things I think about when I think of what Christmas in Heaven is like with you in it.
Love ya Sista! I'll be back on real soon-
Sunday, November 11, 2012
PE Convention
Last year this time Sista, we had just presented at the state convention on incorporating health and nutrition into the PE program and the "Healthy Fitness Zone" at Springdale Elementary...now affectionately known as Cindy's Place. That was a nice weekend together and we even had Jacob and Addie join us after Airport played Myrtle Beach. It was a tough weekend too because Griff had just passed away and we were all mourning the loss. Griff had been a part of my life since I was in the 5th grade and she was a wonderful Mother-in-Law to you. We couldn't ask to have been brought together with a more loving family.
This year I didn't get a proposal submitted by the due date and then decided that it was probably for the best. It would be nice to go and take it all in and not worry about presenting. But, much to my surprise Thursday afternoon 2 people said they were sorry they were going to have to miss my presentation Saturday morning. My reply was "no problem because I didn't have a presentation." I looked a little closer this time and found the title Organizing a FunD Run in your School, presenter Karen Roof. Really, not funny Cindy :) Sally and Ashley seem to think you had a hand in it, I think they are probably right! So, I got my thoughts together the best I could and presented at 8 the next morning. For the record, mine is called the Fun Run and Springdale's is called FunD Run so no doubt you signed me up! Oh and by the way, thanks for being there with me.
The weekend was certainly bittersweet. So many nice people that I haven't seen had many wonderful things to say about you, Jacob, the girls and just the whole situation. We'll continue to live on, be thankful for our time with you and all that you taught us, and definitely try to follow your lead. I'm grateful to have a network of PE professionals to share memories and to continue to grow, learn and share.
As we enter into the holiday season, I'll work really hard to remember how much you loved this time of year. Even though it was such a busy time, you seemed to relish in the non-stop bustle. It just meant you were impacting that many more people. I'll listen to the Christmas music with all the gusto you had (even though I WILL wait until after Thanksgiving unlike you starting in October.) We'll continue with all of our traditions and I'm sure start a few new ones along the way. I'll be back around Thanksgiving if not before to share all that I'm thankful for in the past and what is to come in the future.
Love ya Sista!
This year I didn't get a proposal submitted by the due date and then decided that it was probably for the best. It would be nice to go and take it all in and not worry about presenting. But, much to my surprise Thursday afternoon 2 people said they were sorry they were going to have to miss my presentation Saturday morning. My reply was "no problem because I didn't have a presentation." I looked a little closer this time and found the title Organizing a FunD Run in your School, presenter Karen Roof. Really, not funny Cindy :) Sally and Ashley seem to think you had a hand in it, I think they are probably right! So, I got my thoughts together the best I could and presented at 8 the next morning. For the record, mine is called the Fun Run and Springdale's is called FunD Run so no doubt you signed me up! Oh and by the way, thanks for being there with me.
The weekend was certainly bittersweet. So many nice people that I haven't seen had many wonderful things to say about you, Jacob, the girls and just the whole situation. We'll continue to live on, be thankful for our time with you and all that you taught us, and definitely try to follow your lead. I'm grateful to have a network of PE professionals to share memories and to continue to grow, learn and share.
As we enter into the holiday season, I'll work really hard to remember how much you loved this time of year. Even though it was such a busy time, you seemed to relish in the non-stop bustle. It just meant you were impacting that many more people. I'll listen to the Christmas music with all the gusto you had (even though I WILL wait until after Thanksgiving unlike you starting in October.) We'll continue with all of our traditions and I'm sure start a few new ones along the way. I'll be back around Thanksgiving if not before to share all that I'm thankful for in the past and what is to come in the future.
Love ya Sista!
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