Sista, I think of you so much and oh what a year this has been. It's still very hard to believe that you aren't here with us experiencing all the wonderful things that life brings! It's early on a Sunday morning, the house is quiet and I'm looking at the beautiful Christmas tree lights. This weekend the house has been full of family as Addie, Anna, Ryan and the girls have been visiting. Finn loves Christmas and has been singing carols for months now (just like her Grandmama Cindy.) It's so hard to believe she's already 3 and it's amazing all the joy she has brought us. She is so loving and kind, independent and strong, smart and beautiful. This September Finn got a baby sister-Florence Irene, aka Flora. She is the sweetest little angel, she has dimples in both cheeks and even her chin. She just snuggles in your arms and makes everything in the world just right. Don't you find it amazing how you have an influence on a child you didn't even get a chance to know? I see so much of you in Finn, I know it's because Anna is so like you, Addie is an amazing aunt, Jacob is such a good poppy, Bon Bon is well...Bon Bon, enough said and Ryan is a fabulous daddy. And I know that all those influence Finn along with many others but I see you in her so often. This Christmas when Finn came down the stairs (I hear it was at a pretty fast pace...) she ran straight to Flora's Santa stash and said "look Flo-Flo, look at what Santa brought you" and took her a toy...before she even looked at her own gifts from Santa. Sound familiar? Does to me-sounds just like a big sister I had growing up. Always looking out for me and happy for me in every way- I'll come back to the Evans family in a bit. |
| Preparing for the BBQ Fundraiser for Cindy's Place |
December was a happening month. Addie Caroline graduated from USC with honors, I agree-where did these girls get it? She majored in art studio with an art history minor. She has worked hard and persevered overcoming some major obstacles, including losing 3 grandparents and 1 parent before ever starting college. I'm so unbelievably proud of her and I know you are too- Jacob and Dana threw her a wonderful graduation party and she celebrated the friends and family that helped her get there and WE celebrated HER! She is so much like you too-she loves with all her heart and gives to others so freely! She sees the positives in everything/everyone that crosses her path and treasures family. I can't wait to see what the future holds for her!
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| Please note the smeared letters on the cake...Finn loves running her fingers through the icing! She always leaves her mark😉 |
We had a wonderful Dennis Christmas this year with family. Mammaw is not doing well, at 98 she knows Momma most days but struggles with the rest of us. It's so tough to watch her eyes fade away but am thankful to see her spunk shine through some every now and then. We are so fortunate when it comes to family and I'm grateful for all we have and the memories we were able to make for so many years. It's hard on Mom and Uncle Phil as you can imagine, this road is not easy or for the faint of heart. So, if you could send down a little extra hug to them during the next month that would be great!
Sally and I have our house on the market and may have a buyer (after 25 years of living there, it's a hard goodbye but it's time!) We had some great times on that porch with either coffee or beer *more beer than coffee but both were great! Sally will graduate from seminary in June of 2018 and we'll see where we go from there. We're living in Charlotte right now and absolutely love it so we're hoping we will hang there for a while. We call ourselves Grand-Aunts and because of Finn, Harper Anne (Will's little one, can you believe it!?) and Flora, we will not move too far away as we once gave thought. Amazing how much those little ones tug at your heartstrings!
So, now let's talk life! So many people suffer losses and the wound seems fresh for way too long. "It'll get easier" they say, "you have great memories" they say, "she was a good one" they say...and you know what? It's not easier, just different-as we've coined it our "new normal" and the memories are fantastic and I'm lucky to have them, I'm just greedy and want more, and yes you are a good one and so are many, many others. So, this Christmas season my heart goes out to all those trying to find their new normal, reliving those memories and reminiscing on all the wonderful things about their loved one. Live as though your loved one is right beside you because they actually are!
It's just a new normal-like standing in Mt Tabor Lutheran Church this December holding a sleeping Flora in my arms and watching Finn sing during her Sunday School Christmas program made me smile and cry all at the same time. Your heart would've exploded with pride and joy over watching that little angel, I want to say it's not fair that you're not there to watch it but in reality I know that you are, I'm just selfish enough to want to see your smile in person! I wanted to see you beam with pride as you watched Addie walk across the stage at your own Alma Mater. I want to hear you talk about your late night conversations with Anna or your early morning snuggles with Addie. And as I reflect, the only way I have the feeling of that want is because of memories I've experienced of just those things! And for that I am eternally grateful, it's called joy! I'm joyful that I have memories that matter, that impact me to this day, that guide some of my decisions, that keep me grounded in what is important in life. It's not easy, life is hard, it's like Addie's canvas' that start blank and turns into something special...LIFE💝
